Alright mate, I’m from the future. I’m you in twelve years time. In some ways I wish you could read this. I also know you wouldn’t take any notice. Thirty two seems like such a long way away, doesn’t it? It’s really not. It’s going to fly by.
Your twenties are going to get pretty chaotic. You’re in for a wild ride, so buckle up. I know you find life pretty hard right now and it’s going to get even harder. But it’s alright, it all works out in the end.
You don’t really fit anywhere, you’re never going to feel at home with any group of people. So stop trying. It’s a waste of energy that leads to so much heartbreak. You’re an individual, you’re odd. Weird. Most definitely different in the way you think and process information. You’re creative, you’re emotional and you feel things very deeply. Allow it to be. All of this is fucking beautiful. Don’t hide away and don’t hide from it. Embrace it. Allow yourself to feel and allow yourself to be expressive. It’s so very important.
Some amazing opportunities will come your way and you’re going to fuck up each and every one of them. But it doesn’t matter. There are more opportunities around each and every corner. They keep coming so don’t dwell on the fuck ups. They’re great lessons that gradually round you as a human being.
Towards your late twenties you’ll really begin to struggle with your mental health. You’re going to feel like the whole world is against you. It’s going to be hellish. It’s extremely difficult to put into words just how bad it will get, so I won’t attempt to. People are going to turn on you, some will blame you. Others are going to appear out of nowhere to help you. These are amazing people, these are your friends, love them and cherish them.
What we now realise is this huge breakdown is the real you that has been repressed for so long- kicking, screaming and desperately fighting to get out. The front you subconsciously create for yourself is crumbling and falling away. You will emerge on the other side after a year or two as a strong person with great wisdom and insight. For the first time, you will feel free from the expectations of others, free to really express yourself. Free to show and receive love. Life will become a magical journey. Trust the process.
Just know that everything is going to turn out fine. The darkest night will be followed by the most truly shining sunrise. At twenty years old you feel lost in the world. I’m not sure if that ever changes, but you most certainly do. Ride the blows, embrace your personal evolution, fall in love and never be afraid to lose people. It happens continuously. Never worry about the things you can’t change… that becomes a destructive habit of yours.
At thirty two you won’t be where you want to be, but you will be heading in the right direction. Generally, people like you. Remember that. You’re your own biggest critic and worst enemy, but you are a decent person. So don’t beat yourself up over mistakes and errors of judgement.
Be good to yourself,